What Your Body Says (and How to Master the Message) – Inspire Influence Build Trust and Create Lasting Business Relationships

<p>Foreword byMichael Grinder ix</p>
<p>Foreword byMichael Port xi</p>
<p>About the Author xiii</p>
<p>Acknowledgments xv</p>
<p>About This Book xvii</p>
<p>Introduction 1</p>
<p>Understanding the Difference between Power, Intimidation, and Influence 6</p>
<p>How Influence Equals Opportunity 7</p>
<p>Items of Note 10</p>
<p>1 The Signals You Are Sending 13</p>
<p>Good versus Bad Nonverbals 15</p>
<p>2 How the Signals Work 19</p>
<p>Intentional Gestures Are a Powerful Tool 20</p>
<p>When and How the Gesture Happens 22</p>
<p>How Long to Hold the Gesture 25</p>
<p> But Wait, There s More . . . Connecting Two Ideas Nonverbally 25</p>
<p>How to Disconnect Two Ideas Nonverbally 28</p>
<p>3 Gestures of Relationship 33</p>
<p>How to Attach Yourself to a Message 41</p>
<p>How to Create a Visual Placeholder 43</p>
<p>4 Gestures of Location 53</p>
<p>How to Use Locations 54</p>
<p>How to Create a Phantom Location 56</p>
<p>How to Assign Negatives to a Location 57</p>
<p>How to Avoid Cross–Contaminating Your Message 63</p>
<p>5 Gestures That Teach 65</p>
<p>Keep the Gesture Simple and Familiar 66</p>
<p>Verbal and Nonverbal Congruency 70</p>
<p>Do I Always Have to Be Congruent? 71</p>
<p>6 Gestures of Expectation and Influence 73</p>
<p>How to Use Your Posture to Show Your Confidence 74</p>
<p>Manage the Behavior Not the Person 79</p>
<p>Proactive versus Reactive 80</p>
<p>I Expect You to Wait 83</p>
<p>Power Gestures 86</p>
<p>How to Confirm Others Perception of the Experience 87</p>
<p>7 The Eyes Have It 91</p>
<p>Where Do I Put My Eyes? 92</p>
<p>What Can I Do with My Eyes? 94</p>
<p>Eyes and Emotion 95</p>
<p>How to Manage with Eye Contact 96</p>
<p>Pros and Cons of Little or No Eye Contact 97</p>
<p>8 How the Signals Sound The Voice 101</p>
<p>Voice Patterns of What We Do andWho We Are 105</p>
<p>How to Use the Credible Voice Pattern 106</p>
<p>How to Use the Connection Voice Pattern 108</p>
<p>Is Your Voice Sabotaging You? 110</p>
<p>Addicted to the Verbal Pause 112</p>
<p>The Need to Breathe 113</p>
<p>9 The Unintentional Nonverbals 119</p>
<p>Fidget Reboot Button 121</p>
<p>The Nonverbal Outburst 122</p>
<p>10 The Fine Print in Your Owner s Manual 125</p>
<p>The Trick Is to Remain Flexible 126</p>
<p>Master the Behavior Game 128</p>
<p>11 Putting It All to Work 137</p>
<p>Feelings Change Facts 138</p>
<p>Emotions Motivate 139</p>
<p>How to Communicate a Clear Direction 140</p>
<p>Observe to Become Self–Aware 141</p>
<p>How Context Controls the Message 141</p>
<p>Final Thoughts: Master Your Message Next Steps 146</p>
<p>Cheat Sheets 149</p>
<p>Resources and Recommended Reading 158</p>
<p>Quick Reference Guides 160</p>
<p>Index 170</p>